ever been with someone but continuously thought of someone else.
damn. that happened to me once, or maybe twice, i told this guy i loved him, cause i thought it was right, but i couldn't get this other person outta my system. i remember, this person just tellin me "i can't help but wait" and i just felt the tears ball up in my eyes. i know, i know, you probably think i left him for that person, but no, i stuck by him. i didn't know if it was right or wrong and actually sometimes i wish i did the opposite. it was like i was scared to disappoint everyone who was watching me, and i ended up hurting that person and myself. its like my heart broken that day, when i decided to push that person away. was i cheating? i don't know. maybe i was, maybe i wasn't, but i know, it was foolish of me to stay somewhere, where my heart isn't. now i know, not to lead anyone on, cause at the end, you end up hurting yourself, and that person. but my lesson learned doesn't seem to phase any one, anymore, since everyone is doing it. what is going on with the world?
ever been the chick, he runs to when he feels lonely.
i don't think words can express how i feel on this one. i know i misinterpret your actions, i was so happy, to be like, "its finally me" but to find out, im not the only one, tears deep. i wish i would of learned from mistakes, the first time but it doesn't seem to register in yet. i kept running back to every word he said to me, i thought i was doing good, to him and to myself but i learned wrong on my behalf. when he ask me to keep him company, my heart says yes and my brain tells me know, i push poor brain aside... lol and i go with my heart, which i know isn't 100% accurate all the time. i learn later, he was with another, or whatever call it, and the first thing i reach for is my lips, like "damn chelle, you really lost yourself this time" and no matter if i approach him or not, deep down, i know its true. another lesson learned i can say...
ever been blind to notice, everything was right in front of you.
it be them days, where i be all sad and upset and i blame everything, that happened in life on myself and i just sit around looking oh-so- miserable, when i can be having the time of my life with my friends. even how sad i am, im too blind to notice all the success that lies in front of me, and all the people who care. i push so many people away, thinking they were up to no good but at the end, when they leave, or when you push an opportunity away, you later notice, that it was of something good. it been so many, career opportunities i turned down, many people who would of turn into super-friends and many boyfriend potentials, where i let my heart get into the way. you can't regret things, just gotta move one and learn from your mistakes...
