happy

i love my girls

...

im scared that imma really fall for you
and you wont feel the same

=(

♥

one day...

i can see him

in my life

for ever and on

but im still

trying

to figure out

the lyrics

to this song

the way my heart beats

is

indescribable

and this feeling i have

for him

is undeniable

one day

i hope to be the one

he forever holds

he be that someone

who will bring me heat

in winter's cold

him♥

each lesson is a blessing

and i believe god put him in my life for a reason :)

good times :)

my first time at the beach =)

incomplete.

so i listen to ne-yo's let me get this right, everytime i'm "almost" in a relationship with someone. its like a prelude to a whole cd, so i listen to this song, it makes me giddy, all smiles and full with sunshine... then.... its more of a good bye. i always felt like it was me, maybe it was... i really hope not.

lost my train of thought.. to finish

selfish

"i need to be your lady
i need to be your lady
i need to be YOUR lady"

love, love, love
where do i start
where do i pick up the pieces of my heart
put it together
and give it all to you
do you want it?
i don't know
my heart holds stories
hold feelings that i don't think you can bare
i want to hold you
to kiss you
to make sweet tender love to you
make you feel like the man you deserve to be
but i cant
this feeling is like a broken masterpiece
its perfect
but fulled with so many imperfections
im always thinking of you
it just dont make sense
how i can feel such power for you
but i dare not to give it to you
am i being selfish
i think so
holding back
when all you want from me
is...
me


I write i write and i write
and i say this because i want to.. i really do, but i'm so scared, havent been this much filled with fear in such a long time its driving me to a taste of insanity. chelle - - - let go and let love but i cant i never will. just not now... im sorry

rain.

the rain is fallin

im lookin at you

your lookin at me

you grab my face

and tell me everythin is gonna be okay

my lips start to quiver

and my eyes gets fill with fear

my face starts to shiver

and i take two steps back

as you move forward

"why you scared"

you said to me

just then a tear drop from my eye

as you kissed me

my heart beats louder

my blood runs faster

my face looses life

and all the color is flushed away

i fall into your arms

as if i have fainted

"dont be scared"

suddenly i began to fight

as i was being restrained

"baby"

your grip got tighter

my body grew weaker

i can feel your hands

pressed onto my body

as the rain

exposed me

to your body

and to your heart

my head laid on your chest

and the melody your heart played

put me at ease

"im not scared no more"

as i held you in the rain

...

no more words

cry...

I wish someone can hear me

Hear me cry

Hear my tears

Fall from my eyes

I wish someone can see me

Seen the pain

In my face

In my heart

I wish someone can appreciate

Me for who I am

And not complain

Curse my name

I wish someone can love me

that’s all I ask for

Someone to care

Someone to always be there

I’m tired of crying

Sometimes I feel like dying

Going away

To another place

To be able to smile

And to know everything’s okay

I wanna be happy

But I don’t know how…

All I know its tears

Tears like a clown

Am I joke

When you see me do you laugh

I don’t wanna be funny

I wanna be Michelle

But do anyone see it

Do anyone see me

Do anyone hear me…

I be screaming

But no words come out my mouth

I just wanna let it all out

But I don’t have no sound

I’m invisible

that’s who I am

Cause when I cry

There’s no shoulder to lean on

People use kindness for granted

So how do you be kind

How do you be nice

When all feel is mean

It’s a fear of mine

Yet it always seem to come to true

How do you even love yourself

When no one else loves you

Maybe I’m not fit for this life

Maybe I should say goodbye

Cause my hands bleed from writing this letter

Writing out my heart

There’s no more energy

No more strength

I ask for acceptance

But I steady get rejection

And I look at reflection

And theres nothing to see

Cause even in this body

I don’t know whose me

I try to find Michelle

But she cant found

She’s gone with out a trace

She decided to let go

And say her good byes

She no longer wants to cry

No more words L

food for thought

where's love when you need it. i feel as though, us as people look in the wrong places for someone, and we look for the wrong things in that person. i feel as if we stop lookin for once, we will find someone and be happy about it. i look for someone, just because i dread loneliness, but i know you cant truly find love, you have to be patient, it comes to you..maybe this is my food for thought.. hmm..

on another note.. i went to explain my thoughts to my mom, she falls rite to sleep.. rude much.. lol but i expected that from her, cause thats all we doo, eat sleep love and pray.. =)

it is that one person thou... but imma shut up and let it go!

(the spotlight makes your nervous -karaoke, drake)

i love you guys :)

your friends really make you think, they are always there for you.. thru good and bad, thru ups and downs.. man i love these females (and males too) these bitties.. man.. idk what life would be without them.. if you my female friend, i love you, i love you, and i love you :)

im sorry if i dont have a pic of all my friends, but pic or no pic, i love you :)

one night!

the heat in the air, my body's calling for you. gripping the sheets, scratching your back, do you like it like that ?? toes curling, body's turning, i'm yearning for you babe, you melting inside me, im trying to fight it, but i cant deny it. screams of pleasure, you love to make me cry, give you the treat of whats in between these thighs ;).. give it to me tender, but let it end rough, baby please get tough. pull my hair, i know its weave, you wanna see the tricks thats up my sleeve... i like to experiment, and baby you can be my test subject, do what i want on you, what i like on you... can i put my mouth rite there? can you put your tongue in here? you do the math :)... i wanna make it rain tonite, until tomorrow evening. buts lets not stay in the same room, can you make me move like a uhaul truck.. baby please say yes... cause im willing to do what you want me to do.. just one night, come to me, come with me, come in me :)

no more words ♥

xoxo

lately, i see him, its not intentionally, maybe sometimes accidently... okay i lied, it was purposely. i knew he was going to be there, and i just had to see him. to see if my heart still beat the way it did the first time i laid eyes on him. i know he didn't see me as anything and sometimes i wonder if he still do. its been a year since the first time i met him, caramel, cute smile, you know... he's a cutie, definitely in my eyes. i want to live to see his smile, again, and again :) its like i see him, i cant help but feel shy, to smile... the nerves going thru my body is crazy. i wish i could just let him know...

how do i let him know...

i have this feeling he's the FIRE i need to light up my candle...

no more words, for now *♥

knowing you, knowing me?

the lucky ?

1. full name - michelle monique taylor

2. birth-date - wednesday, october 2, 1991

3. favorite colors - green, blue and especially black :)

4. i love = writing(*♥) reading, socializing, listening to music, hanging with my girls

5. lucky number is two :)

6. believes that NO ONE should be alone

7. smiling is a habit

8. i have light brown iris colored eyes ;)

9. love's cookies :)

10. i will always love mr and ms james w. taylor (*parents;)

11. love the sound of smooth r&b

12. hates when people say fucking, its called sex, but i prefer it be called love making

13. a little bit too romantic

15. too emotional

...

if i let it all out,

then it wont be nothing to hide

i mean i love to be learned

but it's things inside

that i want you to find

without, me telling.

lemme be a mystery

and you have to solve the crime

are you down?

cause if this was you

i be quick on the case

full of anticipation

like my heart pace

your beautiful face

baby boy where you be?

i wanna be

knowing you, like you wanna be

knowing me :)

love & life;

i dream a lot, and what i dream, i like to believe. yet someone recently told me life isn't a fairy tale. and i know that true. but i like to think optimistic about life. maybe i sound young, maybe i sound old. maybe i'm just confused. i gotta let everything off my chest.

* * *

i thought back on december 26, 2009 the rainy nite, our favorite nite. i remember him, i really was fallin for him. strange huh. then i think on january, when things went wrong. the crying. the pain. my heart broke, i wasnt in love with him but i was in a deep like of him. we met in the rain, and we ended it in the rain.. april came.. and i saw him again. my heart dropped and i was talkin to someone else, my april babe..:) . i told him, cried on the phone with him and everything. he said to me.. "either me or him"... i stuck with april over november.. till june, and i look back now and i'm alone... things happen for a reason

* * *

october 21, 2007. my first love... my first heartbreak... back then i love him. rite now i dislike him. i would say hate, but what kind of person would i be. the fighting, the pain. the abuse.. the sneaking around.. the creeping.. i fell in love with my bestfriend and they know who that is. my lil secret they were... i told him about it.. but he didnt see it as a threat.. how dont you see it as a threat when i spend more time with this person.. i was THIS close to kissing them... me and my first love relationship died in january ( when everything dies for me ) but we didnt break up till june.. june 9, 2008.. probably the best day of my life... i remember my brother graduation.. he told me he never loved me.. i cried until the end of july... then aug. he came back, left back in october, our anniversary, came back in april, left on our anniversary again..and we havent talked ever since :) .. thank you

* * *

i remember july.. the hottest day, my dad bday.. i met you, talk to you all nite and at the end of our phone conversation, i called you babe. maybe the sweetest out of them all.. i was 15 you was 18. my dominican lover... you wanted to be my first.. but sadly you wasnt.. i left you in september.. 2 days after your birthday.. i miss you sometimes.. just maybe more as a friend..

* * *

now i cant forget you.. and if he ever stumble upon this he should know why. i think about our passionate kiss, the passion that lingered everywhere we went.. i looked at you and i can feel the heat from across the room. it was a pleasure to be so close to you... i miss you.. no lie.. i wanna see you again.. in the future.. no more word ♥

* * *

i didnt have that many that left my life.. its more to come .. i can say.. my heart lingers for love, for passion, for friendship.. for everything, that one of them gave me.. i think i mite find it, then i wont...! now i dont know if i should be thinkin about "life isnt a fairy tale person" kinda crushin my dreams and all, yet a person who speaks their mind...hmm!!

( now letting go :)

venus ( on another world )

im waiting
waiting patiently
for you to return to me
to love me
i promise not to be shy
this time
imma make you mine
even if its just for one night
imma give you my all
even in love i dont fall
i wanna share myself with you
temperatures rising
heart beats climbing
im reaching for you
and your not there
anxiously
my nerves going crazy
baby?
where you be?
when i need you the most
your no where in sight
and with this star lite night
the electricity is in the air
i need you baby?
so where you be?
come to me
rescue me
put it on me .....
feel like im on another world
baby i am venus
lemme show you beauty
baby im your venus :)

shuttin it down =)

i love drake =)

damn. I mean you sure know how to paint a town
ever since you came around its obvious you shut it down..

- - -

im happy with my life rite, stress free, care free. floatin in the sky, buzzed out like the bees. my smile brings sunshine, and my eyes brings raindrops. sounds kinda cocky, but im just being honest.

haha im kiddin. im learning to appreciate all that is brought to me. i cant wait for whats in store for me. whats my destiny. i live my life for me, and i know i make mistakes, but who are you to judge me? im human; thats all i am. nothing more, nothing less. im a female, i look for love, happiness. my dreams are #1 besides god and my family. music is a passion for me.

starting today, everything going to be brand new = )

memories :)

Phanna, Jimmy, & Chelle

the dream ( old )

we started off with hi

friendly
you know
then things escalated
and we started talking
getting to know each other
exchanging numbers
you know
then he gotten closer
and i decided to do the same
he looked me in my eyes
beautiful eyes he had..
brown eyes
and his hands landed on my waist
and he continued to look at me
draw me in
i lost control
my hands moved toward his face
my lips to towards his
soft lips he had
you know
very soft
tasty
and we kissed.
we continued
our bodies were touching
aching for one another
his hands were traveling
mines doing the same
he gotten a lil stronger
i liked it a lit bit more
i became his prisoner
he pushed me against the wall
lift up my legs
my skirt didnt help
i didnt stop him..
in a trance
i was
i was lost
and as i felt him entering me
i woke up
thank god!
that was some kind of experience
imma name it
the dream

the letter from my heart ( old )

When it comes to love ache
Heart break
I was with you
I stuck with you, thru my hard times
Thru your hard times
I never gave up
I never gave in
I was there,
And where were you, when you left me
When you decided I wasn’t worth it no more
Was my heart just a toy to you?
Or did you really care
It doesn’t seem fair
You move on so fast
I move on so slow
You seem so happy, so at rest
While I’m stuck being sad, not at my best
That’s what happens, when you make someone your’ everything
And you’re nothing
To them
That’s what happens, when you make someone your’ priority
While they making you an option
A second thought
Was I that to you?
I suffer being your friend
While my heart always will linger to be more
No other boy can take your place
I don’t wanna be on your case
Bout the other chicks you messing with
i gave you my all
And at the end
I ended up with nothing
What’s up with that?
You was my first love
My first kiss
My first everything
And what do you do to me?
You break me, you destroyed me
Not once, not twice, three times
Actually numerous times, no longer can count
I try not thinking of you no more
But you always find your way back
And it’s the reaction my heart makes
When you call my phone
When I see your face
When I hear your name
You driving me insane
I know your not good for me
When I thought I wasn’t good for you
My friends tell me to leave you alone
But like Ciara , I cant
I miss your touch
The way you hold my waist
Our long embraces
Cant compare with any other
Only lips I ever kissed were yours
The day my heart fell for you
I swore you was the one
The one to prove me wrong
But at the end of this story
You showed me, all boys are the same
And deep down I don’t believe I can find
What I can call my own
What I can say is mine
Because of YOU
this story I’m writing out
Is a story filled with lies
Tears
That’s what they call the teenage years,
Naw
This is what I call, a story of my broken heart
A story, only my heart can tell
And its based on YOU
the effect you had on me
I had to be high on some ecstasy
Not to be able to see
At the end YOU was gonna hurt me
I was so blind
So lost, so confused
I want you so bad I really do
But do I need you
I can’t picture myself with any other
And when such good offers came to me
I broken their hearts,
Like they say
Karma’s a bitch
Payback is a motherfucker
Excuse my language, but I’m filled with anger
Rage
Sadness, fear
I’m scared of you, deep down inside
I don’t wanna get close to you again
But at the same time I do
At the end, my final decision
I know has to do with YOU
Nigga you had the worst effect on me
You could have made me do anything
Except change
That’s not love son
You wanted control, and I could’ve gave you that
But bitch I’m smart
And no nigga deserves you if he gonna change you
You claimed I tried to
But you know I loved you
For who you was
And now at this moment
This time,
I’m gonna move on
I’m gonna shine, in someone elses arms
Gonna be some others love
The apple to his eye
I don’t have to be yours
And right here
As I end this
I’m giving you the past

- f r o m : m y h e a r t –
- t o : y o u –

Chelle♥

But why… tell me one thing, why did you make it so hard for me !

wrong, or right?

she don't want to dream again. she looks at him now and she can't help but to lick her lips. she wants to say something to him, yet she cant... she's taken. she wants to walk up to him, push him against the school locker and kiss him like she did in her dream... what should she do, she think to herself. should she forget about it or try .. because she know that it will be consequences. yet, she wants to feel his lips on her, she wants to kiss him, she desperately wants to be with him, she know she is wrong.. yet do she wanna be right?

here i am;

she looked at him and he looked away from her. a smile went from a frown, that fell upon her face. she called for him, and he continue to go. she look at the silhouette on the concrete and only see herself. her heart fell cold and she suddenly got chills as she began to cry. he no longer loved her and she could tell. walking away from the past that left her, she was quick to find love again, when she stumbled upon her future. as she bump into him, without warning, he whisper "don't cry". she looked up, and saw her reflection in his beautiful brown eyes. "i think i found love" he said, as they quickly connected with one look into each others eyes. he took his hand, and with his fingertips, he wipe the tears from her eyes and kissed her on the cheek. she smiled and as she try to speak, he said "here i am"... she felt better, as she known her superman has came to rescue her :)

ready?

...so tempted she started to walk away from him. he grabbed her by her arm and pull her closer to him. there she could hear his heart. she put her hand on her chest and there she notice that their heartbeats were in-tuned with each other. she decided to look him into his eyes. and in his eyes, there were tears. he lean closer to her and went in for the kill. "i love you" he said as he bit her bottom lip. she smiled and replied "i love you too". he caressed her face with his fingertips, and then he went for the kiss. lips moved with lips, their tongues danced with eachother. that tingly sensation went down eachothers spine. they stopped. he slid his fingers from her face, to her breast, down to her waist. she slid her hands up his shirt, examining his frame. she started to back up as he pressed her against the wall. "you ready?" he asked her. she replied "are you?"...

to him;

to him the one i love
the one i think of when i wake
the one that appears in my dreams
this is love
the way i feel for you
the way my heart ache so bad
the way i get so sad
when your not around
when we aint speaking,
if i dont see you while im dreaming
my heart racing as i write this
it is as my life is in total bliss
all because of you
i didnt know what addiction truly was
till we got together
i just want you to be with me forever
to love me forever
to wake up and to see beauty,
besides the bright sun, smiling upon me
the softness of your hands
and your lips as they brush against my cheek
its a comfort love
a magnificent love,
a love where i found my best friend
my boyfriend
my everything
in one person
and that person is you...
i never thought that this could happen to me
i never thought that this was our destiny
i just thought we would be friends,
that can talk about anything
i saw it as nothing
now i see it as everything
my heart tells this is a special love
to him
for him
my heart sings this song
iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou :)

hehe

so im in spanish with stef...

juniors 09 :


and now
seniors 2010 :

we still the silly lil girls from freshman year.. :)
well im not gonna miss her...

shippensburg 2014 baby :)

bossy lady..

Let her call the shots,

she want me on the top,

and the way I want it It'll be a month before I stop,

kinda walk funny,

stumble out the pad,

snap of her finger niggas picking up her tab,

walking through the mall, got me carrying her bags,

I gotta pause cause the mutherfucker bad

-Rick Ross

im so loving this song ... again :)

a random moment

so im chilling with sean in spanish class

haha he reminds me of oompa-loompa :)

so any who... in garcias and honestly bored as shit. idk what is really going on. im filled with too much emotion at the moment. i dont know what to do and it hurts like hell. im so confused... its like one thing happened and another and another.. gosh..and while im trying to write and think this oompa-loompa is talking to me and making these weird as noises

... so back to what i was saying. im like sooooooooooooo clueless on what i should do. then i keep listening to two songs that tears me into two. its like a love hate feeling going on in my heart. i dont know what to do.. tell me what to do..

(soo now stefany actin just like an oompa-loompa lol)

...i catch up later... when i get my train of thought back

mine.

i see you looking at me
and im looking at you
the thoughts that run through my mind
all the things i wanna do
to you
i wanna love you
i wanna please you
boy, do i ever wanna leave you
i wanna tell you things you'll never hear
i wanna show the girl, that's hiding behind this fear
i know what you need
and boy you need me
the stars are all aligned
and we are destiny
i can tell what you wanna do
you body tells me all your thoughts
your feelings
do you need that sexual healing (haha)
imma get serious
imma make you feel delirious
baby i need you to be mine
lets create a love and make it last a lifetime
i need you to be mine....

(something i feel, yet something i dont)

out with the old, in with the new

this is my first time blogging since, october. it has been such a long time since, i expressed myself. its been kinda rough, with senior year and all. i been quite lazy... and im disappointed in myself for it... imma catch up thou.. love sucks as i could say but i know saying it and meaning it is two different things ... i know i dont mean it. i wanna fall in love.. but i dont wanna be in a situation where i end up hurting someone. i rather be hurt, then to hurt...

i kinda like this boy, i will say, i really like this boy. he always make me smile, he knows how to make me laugh. we can talk for days ... gosh he may do stupid things but hes very mature. just seeing him makes it feel like the world is spinning so fast. my heart jumps out my chest, i have to literally control my cheeks so they dont turn red. he hugs so tight and it feels so right... but ... but i be the stuff like this , that i tend to mess up... and i guess i already did

im going out with the old, and in with the new :)