i dream a lot, and what i dream, i like to believe. yet someone recently told me life isn't a fairy tale. and i know that true. but i like to think optimistic about life. maybe i sound young, maybe i sound old. maybe i'm just confused. i gotta let everything off my chest.
* * *
i thought back on december 26, 2009 the rainy nite, our favorite nite. i remember him, i really was fallin for him. strange huh. then i think on january, when things went wrong. the crying. the pain. my heart broke, i wasnt in love with him but i was in a deep like of him. we met in the rain, and we ended it in the rain.. april came.. and i saw him again. my heart dropped and i was talkin to someone else, my april babe..:) . i told him, cried on the phone with him and everything. he said to me.. "either me or him"... i stuck with april over november.. till june, and i look back now and i'm alone... things happen for a reason
* * *
october 21, 2007. my first love... my first heartbreak... back then i love him. rite now i dislike him. i would say hate, but what kind of person would i be. the fighting, the pain. the abuse.. the sneaking around.. the creeping.. i fell in love with my bestfriend and they know who that is. my lil secret they were... i told him about it.. but he didnt see it as a threat.. how dont you see it as a threat when i spend more time with this person.. i was THIS close to kissing them... me and my first love relationship died in january ( when everything dies for me ) but we didnt break up till june.. june 9, 2008.. probably the best day of my life... i remember my brother graduation.. he told me he never loved me.. i cried until the end of july... then aug. he came back, left back in october, our anniversary, came back in april, left on our anniversary again..and we havent talked ever since :) .. thank you
* * *
i remember july.. the hottest day, my dad bday.. i met you, talk to you all nite and at the end of our phone conversation, i called you babe. maybe the sweetest out of them all.. i was 15 you was 18. my dominican lover... you wanted to be my first.. but sadly you wasnt.. i left you in september.. 2 days after your birthday.. i miss you sometimes.. just maybe more as a friend..
* * *
now i cant forget you.. and if he ever stumble upon this he should know why. i think about our passionate kiss, the passion that lingered everywhere we went.. i looked at you and i can feel the heat from across the room. it was a pleasure to be so close to you... i miss you.. no lie.. i wanna see you again.. in the future.. no more word ♥
* * *
i didnt have that many that left my life.. its more to come .. i can say.. my heart lingers for love, for passion, for friendship.. for everything, that one of them gave me.. i think i mite find it, then i wont...! now i dont know if i should be thinkin about "life isnt a fairy tale person" kinda crushin my dreams and all, yet a person who speaks their mind...hmm!!
( now letting go :)
